For many years I only worked “when I felt like it.” I wasn’t doing as well as I wanted to so I decided that I needed to work harder. I started painting at certain times that I had blocked out, usually Monday through Friday from 10am to 4pm. That worked for me because the kids were usually at school during those times so I didn’t have a lot of interruptions. I would take an hour out for lunch so it generally worked out to 5 hours of work time, five days a week. It was more than what I was doing before, but I still wasn’t getting the results I wanted. I wasn’t doing a lot of social media- no Instagram, minimal Facebook, and never blogged. I wanted to be more successful, but “wanting” something wasn’t cutting it.
I had spent many years in school- I have a bachelor’s degree in Psychology, and a master’s in Communication. I got these degrees so that I would have something to fall back on in case the “art thing” didn’t work out. Then one day I realized that that was the problem. I had put so much effort into a back up plan but was giving minimal effort to the thing that I actually wanted. I think that school is very important, and I wouldn’t give my degrees up for anything. In fact, one of my future blog posts is actually going to be about all the ways that an advanced degree makes you a better artist. However, the truth is that if you really want something you have to give it 100%.
Against all of my instincts I started setting my alarm for 4:45 a.m. every day of the week. There is no such thing as a “day off.” Before my feet hit the floor I always say out loud to myself, “Today is going to be amazing. This is the best day of your life. 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, GO!” I don’t touch my phone for the first hour that I am awake. I just work on sketches. Sometimes the sketches are of something that I am trying to get better at, and sometimes it is what I plan to work on later that day. I started posting on Instagram and Facebook even though it is uncomfortable for me. As an introvert I am not a natural sharer. But I decided that I need to either give it 100% or do something else. This is happening. There is no backup plan. I am going to work on painting or sketches or email or something else that needs to get done every minute of the day. Something that has bothered me for a long time was not blogging. I didn’t want to do it, I didn’t know what to write about most of the time, but I think that it is important because it adds content. I had been thinking for awhile that maybe I should commit to certain days but that felt like weak sauce. If I’m going to do 100%, then I need to do 100% so I decided that I would blog every day. Even if some days it is only a sentence or two, eventually it will pay off.
The illustration above is titled “Nebula.” This morning I had been working on sketches for an hour and didn’t have anything that I was happy with but I didn’t want to get breakfast until I had something good. At the last minute the idea for this girl popped into my head. I’m really happy that I kept going because I love the mood of this illustration and she is super cute. Prints of this painting are available here.
